I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
