Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
