As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
