you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
