Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
