I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
