I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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