you guys were way drunker than both of me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
