Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
