This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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