I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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