your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
