Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That accounts for only three of the penises
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
