Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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