Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
