But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
