is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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