Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
