he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
