I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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