hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
