why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
