Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize