i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
