You made me cry and you don't even care
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
