All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
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