i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize