Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
