Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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