its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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