its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
