Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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