hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
