The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
