WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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