I can't breathe out the right side of my face
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
