What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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