I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
