so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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