shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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