Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
