the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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