I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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