I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
