U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
