What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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