i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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