I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
