we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
