She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
