no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
