Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
