I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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