I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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