Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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