Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
