It's Friday. Sex?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
