i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
